Excerpts from my journal

There are also a few photos at the end.

 

...it’s like a slow black curtain closing on my left "good eye" from the ear side inward.. Optical eclipse are the only words that come to me to describe it!...

 

...all I see is a black bubble floating around. It is a trip!! Doc says it will be there for a week or so. Think of an oil drop in water...

 

...So yesterday I noticed a light reddish bubble above the blue gas bubble .... But since everything u see is in reverse it is in reality red on the bottom , blue on top. It was kind of freaking me out because now my visibility is next to none .. I can make out some blurry shapes and a hand wiggle or two...

 

...The doctors spent 45 min shining lights and magnifying them to see if there was a detachment again...

 

...Told him about a massive eye ache Friday morning , and more shapes are starting to form, so I can see a bit better, but its still like looking thru a twisted fish bowl filled with water and laced with milk .. With a strangle little blue bubble fish...

 

...Singapore will have to get use me ! Def a bit frustrated , but hey a bigger bubble .. Who knows what twisted realities I will see...

 

...Patch came off.. Wow I can actually see .. But in a some photoshop moving liquify kind of way.  When I look at a still image .. It appears to be moving .. Hair flowing ,, arms melting...

...Mild hallucination. It's kinda cool for the first hr, but this oil is going to be in my eye for 3-4 months. Might get old.. Especially since it makes my glasses useless with that eye . Going to be tricky! Feel like I'm in the house of twisted mirrors when I solely look thru the oiled left eye...

 

...Basically when I look thru my slick oiled eye.. All type I was reading looked italic and wavy .. I could kind of make out the sentence , but it kept moving .. Like my run on sentences. Wish I knew more motion graphics to really show what I'm seeing. It will be hard for me to forget , maybe a future collaboration with someone will pop up;) when I looked thru my right eye it was plain san serif text . A Mind trip!...

 

...On a side note .. I've been seeing some crazy visuals when I close my eye after looking at a light source .. It's like these little white plasma animals morphing into different shapes then flying or fading out to a flat line .. They have little feet and tails .. No heads though....

 

...AM -- birds are talking , sun is peeping and I'm wide awake again.. Meditated a bit, then turned on some beats. Which got me thinking , I should make a mix of some of this lovely music that has been keeping me company in bed...

 

...Besides my street performance, I've been managing ok without my glasses , it's kind of like being in a dream sometimes ... Which can be fun and challenging ! My oiled eye was my dominate eye and seems to want it's title back at times .. Forcing me to look thru it while my right eye takes a back seat. I guess this means its healing or just getting use to the silicon oil. Keeps me on my toes When talking with a person it can be really trippy .. I see a slight version of Dr jekyll and mr hyde!...

 

...But the things it has shown me continues to be wild. While sitting on a toilet in the Singapore airport gentlemen's restroom , the light on the ceiling caught the oil just right and it projected a white bubble with moving black shapes .. Looked like an army of zombies trying to march in a strait line — I stared at it for a good 20 min in amazement!...

 

...Enter the dragon ! Walking around some streets of Hong Kong feel is like the opening sequence to on old 70's Kung fu flick . Since the oil elongates and distorts shapes , each street is a new movie, just without the title...

 

...Getting back to my HK Kung fu movie.. I'm kicking ass .. according to my doctors visit yesterday. Well maybe ass kicking is not the right word .. But I'm on a slow train to mastering the eye oil techniques .. I guess more like the smooth fluid snake move .. Def not the drunken monkey!...

 

...few days ago I was walking on the street without sunglasses ..I looked up with my eye only and saw many small black dots. I had not noticed this before , maybe one or two while looking straight, but def not this many -- best way I can describe it is like bad pixels on a computer screen, except these are in motion and sometimes in a recurring pattern...

 

...So I'm standing on the beach and she is on the rock -- waves are crashing , sun is transforming and all of a sudden hundreds of big black dots filled the sky for 15 min or so. I thought to myself .. Either the world is coming to an end, I'm tripping or I have a conclusion. Turns out it was neither .. That was the moment my retina decided it was going to let loose . It was quite beautiful and poetic .. I could have been laying in a hospital bed looking at the floor while getting stitched up .. But the universe gave me a visual gift! I finally got those photos of the card .. Here is a quick sketch I made...

 

...Your fall account has me convinced - you tore your retina with a rapid deceleration! Holy smokes that was quite a fall. That happens to bungee jumpers too- when the line snaps taut and they suddenly decelerate." ... "Those were some major league floaters you experienced. they represented tiny droplets of blood within your eyeball which were released as your retina tore.”...

 

...What will I see next ? That was what I asked my HK doctor half jokingly .. I told her more tales of melting pulsing lights, blurs and plasma beings. She told me that since my oil has leaked a bit it leaves room for my body's eye fluid to come in .. The two do not mix well and can cause some continued interesting visuals -- another gift from the universe ;)...

 

...Speaking of dark.. darkness is when my visual demons come to play .. It can be quite challenging and take me to a new unfamiliar world . One where I can't connect with people in my normal manner or feel really out of place .. I'm working thru this slowly and getting used to the anxiety. People have been wonderful , it's just my inner workings trying to adjust to familiar situations in new settings with lack of day light! The yin to my yang. It continues to stimulate me visually and pushes me to grow in ways I never thought possible. Soon I will run with the shadows and be free as the night. But till then daytime is where I feel the most comfortable...

 

...Till then melting , blurry , bad pixel , twisted visuals welcome... As long as you mean no harm , I’m down to play...

 

...New specs ! With the craziest script I have ever seen.. Oiled eye is farsighted. My other nearsighted .. I can see the future , past and a Trippy Now! Going to take a bit to get adjust !!...

 

...Lines are still waving, circles are still mutating cells and my eye has become its own tilt-shift lens... But surprisingly it's all becoming somewhat normal. I'm adapting , shifting and growing an auto focus. So no image stabilizer at this time , maybe the next model . Will have to submit a request to the universe. Kidding aside my eye has different focal points .. For example I can see some details in the distance , but when I look down to my feet they are blurry. It's a real trip .. I first noticed this when I took a yoga class a few weeks back .. My eye was all over the place .. To space and back...

 

...I woke up Sunday and my eye had gotten worse , it was now dark black on the side and was pulsating like tweaked star after a long night!...

 

...During shavasana (final resting yoga pose), I had my eyes closed as I always do, but this time I had a crazy vision in my one eye . I was seeing a beautiful woman doing warrior one then two . It was so vivid I thought I was in that class... I opened my eye and stared at the ceiling and think what the hell is going on , what was this I just saw .. A flashback , yogi's wet dream or the opening of my third eye?!...

 

...Downward dog in my second yoga class and things are still weird ... But now it's the oil , not the blood leaking in my eye. This silicon oil is holding my retina tight and taking me on a slick ride...

...But it's not only the oil that is distorting life - a cataract has started to form , I think this is what is making my night time vision so slippery. I've simply named her cat .. She's a prankster. Her and the oil take turns with the visuals, sometimes I think they tag team ! Both will be removed on June 17. Wonder if they will let me keep them ? Also wondering what will fill their space .. Hoping for good tenants! Other than than Cat my doctor says things look good …

 

...Blurry in Bangkok ! Staring Cat and the black pixels -- directed by Mr. Silicone. Sounds like a twisted tale. Maybe next trip to Thailand , this journey was about healing. Mission accomplished!...

 

...And since I decided to be awake for the operation, I was thinking about it until the surgeon busted out the long needles to go above and under my eye. Things were about to get real, I hate needles , especially ones staring me in the eye.. After two very uncomfortable injections .. The clamps came on and my vision went grey...

 

...It did not stay grey for long, soon a storm rolled in and I got to watch the Gods battle in my eye. Dark blue clouds rolled in and out , the sky changed from light to dark and back again , shadows of creatures that I could not see flew by as space and earth intertwined. Then the bubbles filled the sky like little aliens in an underwater invasion , I could see them exit as fast as they came like schools of fish ... Then all of a sudden I could feel tugging in my eye ... I asked what was happening .. Apparently the meds were dulling .. He asked me if I saw any more bubbles .. I replied nope , the sharks ate them all. I then asked if I could keep the oil , as I wanted to release it into the universe .. They all laughed and said no.. I was like fine , can I at least say goodbye .. They showed me the syringe filled with his remains ... the surgical coffin now holds him as saline fills his place in my eye...

 

...Crazy are my 2 cover images I posted on my way to the hospital. The clouds and the black tar with the water reflecting the sky . I saw live images like these as I was being operated on.. Similar colors and mood.. Foreshadowing at its best!...

 

...It's a different color hue than my right eye.. It's a lot cooler .. My right eye is warmer .. It's totally tweaking me out .. As a designer and photographer ... I now see the world in two tones.. White and bright white.. Black and dark grey , etc! I was staring at my reflection in the porch window and it was like looking at two different photo filters .. My own Instagram ! My right eye showed darker shadows thru the window, thus less reflection. My left eye showed lighter shadows so I could see more of the outside reflection.. Strait tripping! Two ways to see the world .. Which one should I follow?...

 

...Might need to attach a flash to my hat, maybe with a red filter .. Try and capture the shadow people. I see a new photo series in my future .. Shadows .. I've always been fascinated by them .. But now they seem to be alive!...

 

...My lens is not dirty , but it feels that way! The black and white pixel cells are still floating around .. The dead DNA of my eye has moved from the sky, to my center vision. They now float in and out of my life like schools of fish .. 80% of the time. The doctor says they may go away .. In just hoping they fly high again or swim around in the deep sea. But it's like having a dirty lens with moving spots.. My own little visuals to life’s rhythm!...

 

...Another rhythm I get is a flashing pattern . It's like there is a 90% opaque erase on a part of my vision and a flashing light is showing thru .. Mostly when I look at a computer screen. It's kind of like the histogram feature that flashes light on a overexposed image on some cameras. Like I said it’s very faint , but noticeable...

 

...I also still see wavy lines , might be my vision thinking is still looking thru the silicone oil .. Maybe it's still getting its "see" legs . We will "sea"...

 

...One of my visuals .. Just illustrated this to show the doc... The black dots are cells .. They float on by a lot .. The big fellas come every now and then to say hi..

 

...So where does this leave me at this point in time ?  Still tripping out on things -- that's for sure as I said before these optical illusions fascinate me to no end ..  Yes they are frustrating , but when I think I could be blind in that eye ... The frustration melts away...

 

...In a nutshell , I still see wavy lines , mutating circles, distorted typography , small silicone bubbles that decided to stay and play with my vision and a different cooler hue than my right eye. It’sbetter than darkness and It lets me see the world in a uniquely trippy way...

 

...It's been awhile since an eye update. Things have been stable over the last few months , I still have distortion and oil goblins floating by - reminding me of the silicone oil that once filled my eye. The distortion mostly affects the outlines of things, straight lines and typography .  The typography part is a bit annoying as I design with it and basically see it everywhere...

 

...Laser surgery is needed to break it up. At night see the effects of this the most .. Light sources shoot spiderwebs my way! It's hard to see sometimes , but if I look up and stare at a light , things pop into focus again .  It's a very strange and visually interesting experience, but I'm glad it can be fixed...

 

A few sequential snapshots...

 
 The calm before the storm. Took this 20 min before my fall to send to Ashley.  -Bali

The calm before the storm. Took this 20 min before my fall to send to Ashley.  -Bali

 The mess I left after slipping. - Bali

The mess I left after slipping. - Bali

 little did I know what was going on in my eye. - Bali

little did I know what was going on in my eye. - Bali

 Medical Report Illustration. - Bali

Medical Report Illustration. - Bali

 After we got home from the clinic we decided to go to the beach to see the sunset and surf. Surfing was not an option for me because of my stitches so I grabbed my camera . It was an amazing sunset on old man's beach and I stated to shoot one of my flat mates on the huge rock in the ocean . So I'm standing on the beach and she is on the rock -- waves are crashing , sun is transforming and all of a sudden hundreds of big black dots filled the sky for 15 min or so. I thought to myself .. Either the world is coming to an end, I'm tripping or I have a conclusion. Turns out it was neither .. That was the moment my retina decided it was going to let loose . It was quite beautiful and poetic .. I could have been laying in a hospital bed looking at the floor while getting stitched up .. But the universe gave me a visual gift!  I created this image a few months later. - Bali

After we got home from the clinic we decided to go to the beach to see the sunset and surf. Surfing was not an option for me because of my stitches so I grabbed my camera . It was an amazing sunset on old man's beach and I stated to shoot one of my flat mates on the huge rock in the ocean . So I'm standing on the beach and she is on the rock -- waves are crashing , sun is transforming and all of a sudden hundreds of big black dots filled the sky for 15 min or so. I thought to myself .. Either the world is coming to an end, I'm tripping or I have a conclusion. Turns out it was neither .. That was the moment my retina decided it was going to let loose . It was quite beautiful and poetic .. I could have been laying in a hospital bed looking at the floor while getting stitched up .. But the universe gave me a visual gift!  I created this image a few months later. - Bali

 letting it breath! -  bali

letting it breath! - bali

 Time to get these bad boys out.  -Bali

Time to get these bad boys out. -Bali

 One of my many "left" stickers. - Singapore

One of my many "left" stickers. - Singapore

 I took this photo looking thru what little vision I had left in it, not knowing if I would ever see myself with it again. They said they could not find me a surgeon in time. I was listening to Bob Marley to calm down, it was the moment I said goodbye to my eye. Soon after they came into the room and told me they found a surgeon and rushed me to that floor.  - Singapore

I took this photo looking thru what little vision I had left in it, not knowing if I would ever see myself with it again. They said they could not find me a surgeon in time. I was listening to Bob Marley to calm down, it was the moment I said goodbye to my eye. Soon after they came into the room and told me they found a surgeon and rushed me to that floor.  - Singapore

 Left , yes left..  I kept getting asked that question.  even thou I had stickers ;)  - Singapore

Left , yes left..  I kept getting asked that question.  even thou I had stickers ;)  - Singapore

 Nat my photo, but found this when I woke it was closest thing to what I saw when the meds kicked in.  - Singapore

Nat my photo, but found this when I woke it was closest thing to what I saw when the meds kicked in.  - Singapore

 Made it thru Surgery :)  - Singapore

Made it thru Surgery :)  - Singapore

 Morning after Dill. - Singapore

Morning after Dill. - Singapore

 tagging... one of my many doctor visits. - Singapore

tagging... one of my many doctor visits. - Singapore

 My Bali Nokia, trying to type on that after surgery was impossible ,  talk about insult to injury. I laid it to rest and got an Iphone.  - Singapore

My Bali Nokia, trying to type on that after surgery was impossible ,  talk about insult to injury. I laid it to rest and got an Iphone.  - Singapore

 Saw this on my first walk about , they were so trippy from a distance. - Singapore

Saw this on my first walk about , they were so trippy from a distance. - Singapore

 My first photo of my chewed up eye. - Singapore

My first photo of my chewed up eye. - Singapore

 At one point my eye was seeing something like a bloody kaleidoscope. here is a mock up I attempted to do months later. Imagine there being even a more twisted view of inter playing bubbles.

At one point my eye was seeing something like a bloody kaleidoscope. here is a mock up I attempted to do months later. Imagine there being even a more twisted view of inter playing bubbles.

 looks like there is another tear..  surgery 2 awaits ..- Singapore

looks like there is another tear..  surgery 2 awaits ..- Singapore

 Got to love when the 13 pops up right before your surgery.. made my day! - Singapore

Got to love when the 13 pops up right before your surgery.. made my day! - Singapore

 Made it thru Surgery 2 ! still feeling the drugs in this one. - Singapore

Made it thru Surgery 2 ! still feeling the drugs in this one. - Singapore

 Had to visit my doc at is private office..  more 13's  :)  - Singapore

Had to visit my doc at is private office..  more 13's  :)

- Singapore

 opps, when down to far.. devil in my eye.  back to 13 please. - Singapore

opps, when down to far.. devil in my eye.  back to 13 please. - Singapore

 Finding inspiration in food, reminded me of my black floaters.  - Singapore

Finding inspiration in food, reminded me of my black floaters.  - Singapore

 is it me or the mirror ,  blurry morning.  - Singapore

is it me or the mirror ,  blurry morning.  - Singapore

 One of my many visuals, I called this Plasma creature #3 - Singapore

One of my many visuals, I called this Plasma creature #3 - Singapore

 I knew I wanted to make a mix for songs that helped me during my solo days in bed. shot this for the cover art. - Singapore

I knew I wanted to make a mix for songs that helped me during my solo days in bed. shot this for the cover art. - Singapore

 so watery and slimy , I had to make it B/W. - Singapore

so watery and slimy , I had to make it B/W. - Singapore

 Doctor explaining where the silicon oil was living.  It was living in the clear area . - Singapore

Doctor explaining where the silicon oil was living. It was living in the clear area. - Singapore

 oil leaks. - Singapore

oil leaks. - Singapore

 My first night in Hong Kong and I almost get hot sauce in my eye. luck it went in my right, But we decided it was best I eat like this. - Hong Kong

My first night in Hong Kong and I almost get hot sauce in my eye. luck it went in my right, But we decided it was best I eat like this. - Hong Kong

 I found the perfect pair of glasses to express how I was feeling.   - Hong Kong

I found the perfect pair of glasses to express how I was feeling.   - Hong Kong

 Back in Singapore. Praying things will be ok with my final surgery.  - Singapore

Back in Singapore. Praying things will be ok with my final surgery.  - Singapore

 Night before surgery. bathroom fun! - Singapore

Night before surgery. bathroom fun! - Singapore

 Took this on my way to surgery , little did I know I would see similar visions during my operation.- Singapore

Took this on my way to surgery , little did I know I would see similar visions during my operation.- Singapore

 final surgery over!! - Singapore

final surgery over!! - Singapore

 Got to wear this instead of the patch. has a Jason feel to it! - Singapore

Got to wear this instead of the patch. has a Jason feel to it! - Singapore

 testing my vision in a refection. I know see two different hues, which made reflection different depending on eye.  - Singapore

testing my vision in a refection. I know see two different hues, which made reflection different depending on eye.  - Singapore

 Red Rum! - Singapore

Red Rum! - Singapore

 OK! WTF .. I needed to get saline injected in my eye.. it was painful .. he lied.  - Singapore

OK! WTF .. I needed to get saline injected in my eye.. it was painful .. he lied.  - Singapore

 patch for the bleeding eye from injection, mask for the air outside. - Singapore

patch for the bleeding eye from injection, mask for the air outside. - Singapore

 Outside smog. - Singapore

Outside smog. - Singapore

 So after trying to explain what I was seeing, I made this for my doctor.  turns out they are not alien space craft, but left over silicone oil. - Singapore

So after trying to explain what I was seeing, I made this for my doctor.  turns out they are not alien space craft, but left over silicone oil. - Singapore

 Happy get well balloon from Ashley. x - Singapore

Happy get well balloon from Ashley. x - Singapore

 Getting my eyes checked in HK, what will my new correction be??  and should I keep these ? - Hong Kong

Getting my eyes checked in HK, what will my new correction be??  and should I keep these ? - Hong Kong

Thank you for peeping